HGD

One day early but anyway:-

僕と君の未来は　何処にあるの？
限り果てる時間を　すり減らし
触れた指先　何処に行くの？
明日を想い　見上げた夏空に夕暮れが待ってても

boku to kimi no mirai wa  doko ni aru no?
kagirihateru jikan wo  suriherashi
fureta yubisaki  doko ni iku no?
asu wo omoi  miageta natsuzora ni yuugure ga mattete mo

Where does the future of you and me lie?
The short time of us being together  is running out
As I touched your fingers - where are you going?
I still think of (our) tomorrow  even as the summer sky we gaze upon starts to glow red

Happy Graduation you guys... it has been a wonderful 4 years in UBD. Not just my classmates, not just the Japanese class seito-tachi... everyone and everything from the lousy first-year canteen, to the wonderful yet baffling teaching staff, to the UBD hostel I still feel alien with, to the amazing fellow similar 04 intake that I got to know, already know and love or wished I known better, to the places in the campus I wandered so much I billed myself the Green Wanderer, all the way down to the whole institution which, even with its shortcomings and impossible motto (because no human will ever be perfect), is still highly-regarded in this country and having the convocation live on air in itself beats many many other universities across the world.

I just hope I can survive by myself after all this is done. As well as keeping in touch with everyone even if we'll all be busy with our own life. If you can't, just remember to send me an invitation when you finally get hitched (you won't from me because I'll never get to do so).

With this entry I pronounce myself to retire from active wandering with immediate effect.

UBDians, and soon-to-be ex-UBDians, don't remember me always.
Remember me forever.

Birthday~

In the morn at 4 I got my first birthday wishes from the whole family. I drove to uni at 5, open road and all and I was cruising and singing to my fave songs like the whole track was all mine. Although when I finally came to my destination (one of the first to arrive again), I noticed the drawback of speeding in the early morning - dead and flat insects littered around the already-smelly car -_-;

So practically everybody who I graduated with totally forgot it's my birthday. HOLD ON. It's not that I'm pissed. It's more like I'm so relieved!

Then when we were outside just after rehearsal, there was a Happy Birthday song to someone (that makes that person another one who has a similar birthday... Shidah happy birthday to you too, thanks for popping in MSN) so I was liek OMG PLEASE don't remember... and they didn't, phew! Do you know how sober it feels to have one whole hall singing Happy Birthday to you? Trust me I've felt such a thing.

When the day soon came to a close I already got a few texts (including _her_... she still remembers my birthday even if... ._.) but I was there in Ayamku Seria, munching on my Ayamku Special alone saying how lonely I am. Went to dad's grave twice, too. My mom made me cry again.

At night, all of a sudden my dearest Mami came with some boxes of pizza and my fave Easy Way drink. Now all is well, especially when a photoshoot with my sis commenced soon after. But there goes my small diet...

Lessons to be learned

I'm just so used to nobody SMSing me that usually I don't look at my mobile for even days on end. That's bad for me in general and especially when I'm looking to be more social than before...

It's hard to sleep with this coughing and flu. I just need to recover before the graduation, but the barmy weather's not helping things.

And what after graduation? I should be looking to applying for more jobs. Don't think I can go to Japan for postgrad right this moment of time so I'll have to shelve that ambitious plan for the time being.

I'd write about the bottom line being "life sucks" but I'm seeing it in a different light than when I was a wreck in middle school. I wonder why half of my writings here is about ranting, it doesn't really tell the true story of how my behaviour had changed in the past few years.

Full garb

Got my rented graduation gown yesterday, I should've really made that deposit to buy because that person who was with me when I was filling in that form belatedly put me down as renting. The one I got now is missing one button, never bothered to check because I was constantly sneered for being late with gown ordering and there were too many people down the queue line for me to create as much hassle as I was already making then.

After a nice lunch I went to Hadi's place for the guys' reunion. I was pretty uneasy with things, even though I've bought my futsal boots just earlier that day, I knew I wasn't gonna feature in the first team for a while, so I felt a bit alienated in the meeting. But then at the end of the stay Hadi reassured me that I'll always be part of the whole setup. I'm sure I can burn it down again like last year when I lost about 30-40kg just to get my place.

This morn I woke up feeling really under the weather... and the 7th day tahlil is later too.

Al-Fatihah

As some of you may have already known, my father passed away today at 11:20AM from cardiac arrest. He was 52.

All prayers will be greatly appreciated. Thank you in advance.

Met some of my old pals...

My posts are getting predictable. Soon as I write something awfully negative the next moment comes a really positive one.

So yesterday, the Dedwood asked me to come to OGDC for something related with the Rubik Cube. I didn't know what was in store until when I arrived I saw Nas coming too... I was like what was going on and Ded who's now working there said he wants to time-trial some of us who knows how to cube (we all learned it in the PJN Hostel a few years back). Boy Radio also came so it was quite an entertaining afternoon.

My regular time was put down to about 2:45, which kinda sucks in terms of speedcubing. I probably need to learn some fast cube-turning techniques, but I'm not into those kind of competitions mind you.

But amongst many things I got to learn that they were going to have a kickabout at LLRC that evening so after doing some after-errands in Seria I went there and met most of the guys from secondary school... they were still playing as MetroStars, a team I once played for and managed, but now they're only playing futsal which to me as a true hostellite, having used to regular field football, is a bit boring.

Some of them I haven't met for so long - especially Hadini who's really elusive these days (can't blame him). I noticed a small few of them aren't really prepared to see me and had nothing to say though, I can understand, it's awkward when someone you frequently leave out of the team suddenly shows up.

I am in no condition to play though, but I'm available if they want to sign me up (my old MetroStars squad number is 29, they need to remember that), but I'll probably need to get my fitness back first.

Academically a graduate, all else a delinquent

I swear, I'm starting to lose my sanity with all the hassle and mess that is my graduation from UBD.

All the driving up and down, the money I have to spend, the flak I get from others, the admin stuff I have to get with no help from anyone else, they're driving me nuts. I thought this was gonna be a happy and prestigious event? Hell no. Because all the 4 years and I only got a 3rd-class. They don't care my sis took a year longer - in the end her 2-1 definitely makes her tops. This "pioneer" shit I talked about when I claimed I'll be the one of the first from UBD with this kind of degree doesn't sell much - even that guy at iCentre laughed at it when I mentioned it.

I've lamented over the past few years how my youth has passed me by - soon as I finally recieve that near-useless paper in my hands, my youth is over. Gone. I now face the real life I've feared all this time. The golden rule to face real life is to have confidence, and I have none of that whatsoever.

The Yasmi Universe, which is the collective term for all those stories I wrote and had mentioned in a previous entry, will "end" on the titular hero Yasmi's graduation day, when he gets killed off by a villainous group of seven people which includes Safoora, Shalena and even my mother (oops, spoiler!). Will I have the courage to emulate that in real life on that day?

SHR

Selamat Hari Raya to all my readers. I'm sorry I didn't do what I planned to do and what some had anticipated.

It's probably another lonely Raya for me since nobody has called or wished me as yet except someone who'd been updating recently, but I'll try to go join in visiting people as much as I can this year.