Say no to broken matrimony

This incident just proves that when couples divorce, the ones who come out worse are the kids. I don't have to talk about the pressure of having teachers and classmates ask about your parents and stuff (and I've had it). Kids like us feel really sour deep inside, "why can't I have loving parents like the rest of my friends?", and there's nobody to feel angry at because it just happens that you're totally not in control of the situation. You can't even choose sides.

Having separated, divorced parents or deceased ones will impair a kid's growth. Like in my case, having a lot more contact with women (my aunts), I turned really sissy and cowardly without a father figure around. But when things get out of hand, when physical and/or emotional abuse comes into play, that's when a kid feels they are useless. I was suicidal, and if not for my awesome friends whom I thought I didn't have back then, I wouldn't even be living right now.

That's why one of my goals in life is to help troubled households. I don't want any other child to experience what I've been through. I wanna set up a marriage counseling school - I still can't understand how scarce this area is being explored with considering the divorce rate in Brunei - and it'll be controversial as heck. I don't care. As long as I can save a marriage.

All it takes is love, some memories, some space. Bring back all the happy things. Remind your partner what made them marry you in the first place. At the same time make them realise that everyone changes, even themselves. Remind the past, respect the change, resolve the future.

Speaking about love, I think I'll be making a confession very soon. But to no one that you know anyway.

Ooh, my sister's O-level result came out. 5 'O's, not good, but I should congratulate her for passing Maths and Malay, trouble subjects for her. But I don't know what she's gonna do next - she doesn't wanna go into Form 6. I suggest Nursing lah, she'd make a hawt nurse...

NEET Gathering

So this morn I went up to ITB for the Career Exhibition. Before that I had to scramble and sort out my CVs and stuff, because I didn't know beforehand.

I suck at parking, and driving in Bandar in general (plus directions, see I told you I wasn't born to drive) so it took 30 minutes to find a parking spot. Then when I arrived I saw my junior Hazwan Zaini (he has the exact same name as one of my cousins...) who had done his rounds. Then I went about myself and targeted the Belait-based companies. BAG will be my last resort - I was planning to go to Coffee Bean this Saturday for their own casual interview - and went there last. I saw the HR lead who did that marvellous talk at that Youth Leadership forum I attended, but didn't have the chance to talk to her (can't remember her name so I have to look it up next time). Saw my old UBD partner Sherwan (of the Guriwan Sherwan connection) who is already employed by BAG anyway.

Then went to lunch at the new Excapade in Serusop, the flexible opening hours would be joy to people who can't wait for 6pm to munch sushi after work. I had a terrible time on the road. If not for the mp3 player in the Sunny I would go nuts.

...as if the house and my family aren't already bonkers...

Treasure

I finally got the chance to try Takara after so long. The food is good. You should go there to taste it even though you don't have privilege cards or whatever.

Watch this space - I'll soon be showing up with you guys in the very near future.

Wet dream (of the other kind)

After a long few years, I played field soccer on Tuesday (wearing the wrong boots), then slept all day on Wednesday knackered. I had a dream that all of us were signed by Man United :p it was funny when Nas got phoned by Sir Alex to come for training xDDDD oh what a great dream. I also got my own book deal in it, didn't like the contents of my story though.

The room is a mess. We managed to rip the wet carpet from under my bed, but now everything that was under it is out in the open, including 3 old printers. I should spend today cleaning everything out. Miss my PS2 already.

Today should be the day I go really active in my efforts to find work... I need the car though, and my mom shouldn't know about this. Like always, the more you push me, the less I'll want to do it.

Rainism lol

The weather's been nasty the past few days. Water had seeped in my room because of the torrid rain on Saturday, and my room has that type of century-old carpet that's under the king-sized bed and what's under it so I can't remove that smelly thing and hang it dry - and with the wet weather it would take ages to dry even if I did anyway.

So I had to sleep in the living room along with my bro. He snores a lot, it's annoying, but we've slept together in the past for so long already I'm probably used to it.

One of the respites from my troubles is to dive into my own universe. You don't know how satisfying writing your own fiction is. It even helps your English a lot, just look at me and all my blogs if you don't believe me. So if you are deep in jeopardy, let loose by moving your pen or opening a blank text file, and write to your heart's content. It may be embarrassing as heck in the future but it will do you a lot of good.

I'm down with flu the past few days. Let's blame the weather again...

Minds

Quite a good number of geniuses commit suicide because most people can't understand them.

You see, I don't really call myself a genius but somehow, I see the world so differently than most people would. Years of opening up to the many corners of the earth and knowing people out there, as well as having an interest in what's there in the rest of the whole universe - I then look at how other people get involved in their own little wars and shook my head.

I have a strong belief in the saying, "Great minds think ideas, mediocre minds think events, small minds think people". People in the sciences and in the arts are real greats. I have massive respect for them.

But humans can't get along and cooperate without interaction. Hence a human needs to be assertive to others' own minds no matter how small - and that's where some of these great minds die a quick death.

Which mind would you choose? A small mind that lives long or a great mind that dies young? Actually I'd like to be a great mind that thinks ideas on how to live longer i.e. trying to socialise, to connect. But, like what happened with some of those other great minds, the people around me with small minds are pushing me to the edge.

2009 sucks

I don't know why but 2009 started in a depressing way. Nothing happened yesterday though, I didn't even quarrel with mom yet. But I feel really down... could it be that this is the first year of me being a NEET and not having class?

Pretty soon I would stop saying "my youth is gone" and such because, like I said, I grow up slow mentally and fast physically (mentally I'm 5 years younger, that makes me 19 in my head). I'd have to face the fact that I'm getting older and trying to make my own life even if under the rules of my mother.

About socialising... I don't know anymore myself. My mom is nosy with stuff but I can understand that. When we all went to gather around and had a talk a few months ago, I'm surprised how my mom knew all my siblings' friends and not my own, that's because I was grown up antisocial and thus made no attempt to introduce or talk about my friends to her. Even now I think twice about going out with friends because I assume my mom doesn't like me doing that.

This and coupled with what happened one midnight in Bukit Beruang makes me feel like "oh man I don't really wanna go up to Bandar again". I know I'm giving it up too soon but that's because I always do. I've lost all faith in myself a long time ago - that's why you just can't trust me anymore.