As days gone by...

Well I'm also in the rut of needing to find a job. It's not that I seriously need money (though my savings is now seriously cut no thanks to UBD) but my mom is kicking my ass and forcing me to go. Look, I know it's not easy. But I have this problem of selling myself. I have zero self-confidence, much less acknowledging my achievements (if there was any in the first place?), how do you expect me to do well in interviews and write a good CV? Why can't we be mama borek anak rintik for some time? D:

I wanna go up to UBD today, to meet my sensei who I seriously need to visit. She's busy with the Japanese Speech Competition, something I should really had joined if not for again, my self-confidence and no transport to attend all her practice sessions, so it was hard to fix a timeslot so guess I'll have to go early.

The only saving grace about driving for me is that I can listen to my songs and nobody will complain. That's the best thing about owning your own car, you don't have to adjust your seat everytime someone else uses it etc etc... but I will forever be a car noob, I have zero interest in those killing machines, I still can't see why people have this huge interest in them. It's like movies. The general people just like things I don't, and I like things they don't. That's why I'm lonely.

I'm now convinced that I only have very few people from secondary school I still keep tabs with, because I was a mental weirdo back then. People don't believe that I can change. If my mom doesn't, for sure my ex-classmates don't too. You won't believe how little I talked with Ismail, the guy I spent 7 years in PJN Hostel with, ever since we left Form 6. They on the other hand, won't believe how little I went nuts or go on an emotional rampage in UBD.

You might say people move on, but this is ridiculous.

Something tells me I'm missing these things

Last night I dreamt of huge shopping complexes, hotels, fast food, middle-class restaurants, sushi, pastries...

...sigh.

A couple of annoyances

No aircon in the living room for a week now, the compressor is being fixed, and your usual Bruneian service means that it'll take months to get it done. So I seriously have no mood to play on the PS3 and with no fan down here, we all are hot and sweaty at the end of the day. Well at least having night showers are kinda nice and refreshing.

I honestly didn't mean to guilt-trip my parents about last post but as it stands, I've got a monetary surplus this month. It doesn't mean that you're gonna see me in a middle-class restaurant soon enough though. I'm still on one meal a day. Speaking of which I should stop it, because I'm getting headaches due to lack of food lately.

Perhaps I should return to sport as a better alternative to keeping fit. My brother's always gone playing stuff like football, futsal and badminton with his friends after school (he said tennis the other day...). Wish I had something like that. By that I mean a car and sporty friends...

I'm sleeping weird times lately, if not because of EURO 2008, I would have kept up a good sleeping pattern. Alas, some of my body parts ache because I slept too much with the wrong sleeping position... I suffer from hot feet, too, making it harder for me to sleep.

You need to eat to live...

So 2 days after my no-spending pledge, my mom asked me to buy a sack of beras wangi.

...

I was horrified when I learned my brother still gets $5 lunch money from mom every schoolday. For fuck's sake, he's given a lot more allowance than I had by BSP, and I rarely get any lunch money, because I never had the balls or audacity to ask my parents for money anymore, because I wanna be a good son to them (which I've failed at in other areas). And my UBD allowance is already cut due to hostel fees, making my income the lowest between my brother and elder sister when she was at Scotland. So why do they still have time to ask for money?

Nice kids finish last, and they get poor quick, too.

July is a month for scrooges

So this month I wanna show you my awesome NEET teku and skillz. I will spend a very minimal amount of money this month. I'll freeload, I'll beg, I'll do whatever it takes to not take my money out from my wallet.

Because I wanna develop NEET-prolonging traits...