Year-concluding conclusions

2008 sucked... so did every year after Lower 6 anyway.

From what I experienced the two months past, I come to the conclusions that:

• Socialing costs a good lot of money


• Driving a small car would be better for me


• Friends can call off appointments at the very very last minute (me included)


• Watch your language with girls because they interpret words a lot harder


• Facebook (and similarly other social networking sites) is fun until people start deserting it


• If Twilight was an anime I'd fandom it so then make Tasogare with the hero's name Edo Karen


• Diet or no diet, there's always the irresistible urge to eat at night


• Telling the hard truth saves your ass - if you're up against a person who is traumatised about being lied to


• Newly-married girls will cut off male contacts for the next 6 months (I hope this is true...)


• ...but taken girls will still badger male contacts until their boyfriends put a sock on it (which is what I'm fearful of)


• That I can't manage making long lists without inserting BS in it

Happy new year~ Like always, my preferred New Year resolution is 1024x768 (but my laptop is widescreen so... D:)

Jungle Bears

Went to Abby's b'day party. First one hour was just sitting around. Then came Zair the lifesaver so talked with her along with Hj. Shah. Aside from the hosts and them, I don't know anyone else. So I stuffed myself and after some time sitting around in silence listening to people on the karaoke, I left.

That sounded depressing, but it wasn't meant to be negative ...ah well, what else to blog about. Tomorrow I'll continue playing Persona 4 (in Japanese, if anyone's wondering. Yea I bought it quite some time ago but only started it the day before yesterday).

You know, all these people holidaying overseas make me think, I should really try and see the world for myself when I get the chance in the near future. I know what happens to me when the scenery changes. I get a lot more wiser, more open. I'm in awe with the world and I've barely seen much. I need to be -there- and taste the wind. I am an adventurer, urban or rural. Just keep me away from creepy crawlies and I'm fine.

The world needs more debt bunnygirls.

If you meet yourself...

I miss all of you guys, but after what happened to the car I doubt I can ever travel up to Bandar again... or at least for the time being.

I'm currently playing Persona 4. Which makes me think; what if all of a sudden, you come face-to-face with "your inner self", telling you what's inside your own heart?

How would you react? Do you acknowledge that the one in front of you is in fact, yourself? Do you try and stop your mirror image from telling others what you yourself feel?

Everyone has two "faces". They can change how they act or feel anytime, but they can't trade places. How is your inner self feeling? It is often a side, a face you on the outside refuse to show.

So it's no use denying your inner self, because it is a part of you.

Friendsh- ...?

So it's my turn to blog about the theme "friendship".

We cleared the air last night, and I told her why I can't travel to Bandar for the time being (ask her why if you wanna find out...) and now all is well.

That said, I think this is a good lesson on the definition of "friendship" in its rawest form. There's an old Malay saying; "Many friends to laugh with. Few friends to cry with."

In my secondary school years I was a total wreck like I've described many times. At that time I thought I never had any real friends - not even the other 3 guys that make up the Hostel Quartet was to me genuine: Nas' unpolished sense of humour was hurting me, Is was usually keeping me in check like he is my guardian, and Deddy was just Deddy who is kind to everyone without going too deep.

It was that someone who I began to completely trust: Zair. Fact of the matter is that she is an awesome counselor. I'd put her real high in my top friends list, if only she logs in to FB and approves my request. At a period when even Dr. Fadillah Kamsah in the flesh failed to break open and straighten out my lunatic mind (long story), if it wasn't for her I wouldn't even be here right now.

Thus she and along with a few more people over the years before UBD, I regard them as "tear-friends", friends that will stick with you when you're in trouble or you just need a shoulder to cry with. To me that is the essence of friendship.

But now, I'm sure that when I cry, she'll cry with me, and maybe you all too. I have a lot of genuine friends these days, and I'm very grateful for that.

Trust

After reading her post just now I just hope that my trust in her won't disappoint me at the end. That means I don't have anything else to say anymore too.

And that means, that due to several circumstances I shall stop going up to Bandar to hang out with you guys from now on until further notice.

I tried to take it in private and apologise but since she (another person) made it public I would have to put it in a blog post myself. As a friend I care about you and will never let you get marginalised just because you'll be out of UBD later than everyone else. I want myself and the rest of the people to meet you, and for you to join in what fun we had before. And we all write out of our current emotion - I've written entries and said words I've regretted later. Though people aren't surprised anymore about what is "beyond your control to you", I was, because I've only started taking people out recently, and like I mentioned earlier in another entry, I'm still, still learning.

That said, I deeply apologise for what I said (it would've been better suited to an old friend of the same sex to say that, and never to girls, I then realised), and what you wrote about in your entry does mean that you still care about our friendship. But should you want to end it, I'll say thank you for the times we had and goodbye. Because I already have so many female acquaintances who have now ignored me because of my mouth.

101 Questions...

Tagged by Mizah my cousin.

1. What's your name?
Yasmi.

2. Do you like your name? Why or why not?
No... I wanna change my name T_T

3. What's your favorite color?
Green~

4. What's your favorite band/singer?
KOTOKO, Yui Sakakibara, Ayane

5. What's your favorite song?
The one you're listening to right now for the moment

6. Do you have any pets? If so, what are they? What are their names?
No pets here. They poo on my mom's plants.

7. What color are the walls in your room?
White o_o

8. Do you have any siblings? If so, are they older or younger? What gender? How many?
1 ane 1 otouto 1 imouto

9. Do you hate your life? Why or why not?
I have mixed feelings about it.

10. What are your fetishes?
:D~ nurse...

11. Who do you love?
Everyone?

12. Are you a virgin?
Yes

13. Do you have any STDs?
How could I get one if I'm a virgin ffs?

14. Are you ugly or pretty?
Ugly.

15. Are you fat or skinny?
Slightly chubby. I tend to convince myself of that...

16. Are you bulimic/anorexic?
I'm the opposite >_>

17. What's your favorite food?
(insert long list of food)

18. What labels would you use to describe yourself?
Nerd? Aniota? Born-again?

19. Do you wish you had more/less friends? Or are you happy with the amount of friends you have?
I'd like to have more friends now kthx

20. Do you like records, tapes, CDs, or mp3s best?
CDs then, you can burn them off to mp3s for convenience should you need to

21. Do you have any talents? What are they?
Don't think so, no.

22. Do you play any instruments? What are they?
I play the guitar but I'm very rusty at the moment.

23. What song are you listening to right this very instant?
Nothing yet

24. Have you ever cybered before?
...

25. Have you ever kissed someone that has the same gender as you?
Nope

26. Are you stupid or smart?
Stupid! Because I could learn better with it.

27. What kind of music do you like?
Anime music; they tend to be a bit different than J-pop. I can also take denpa.

28. Do you have any regrets?
I want to say a lot of em, but I guess I should really let them go

29. Do you wish you could go back in time to fix all your mistakes?
Just a few moments. I wouldn't even be here maybe if I had fixed everything bad

30. How many boyfriends/girlfriends have you had?
None till now

31. Do you hate chatspeak?
I can read it but I don't really like to use it much

32. Are you a PM/grammar/anything else Nazi?
Not really. Have a few friends who are...

33. Do you have AIM, Yahoo, or MSN?
All three.

34. Do you have your own website?
Unfortunately no...

35. Have you ever hacked or spammed someone?
No

36. Have you ever lied about yourself online?
... lol HAH

37. Have you ever called someone you met online?
Yea I did...

38. Do you know how to swim?
Haven't swam in ages.

39. What is your biggest fear?
Being called a burden

40. What is your stupidest fear?
Having the person I eat out with not eating.

41. How old are you?
24

42. Do you do your homework?
What homework? No homework anymore for a NEET

43. Do you dream at night?
What kind of question is this?

44. Do you daydream when you're supposed to be paying attention?
Sometimes. Depends on who I'm listening to

45. Do you have a hitlist?
No...

46. Have you ever lied to someone?
Of course.

47. Have you ever had an abortion?
...xD oi last time I checked I'm male so no.

48. Do you like George W. Bush?
Pls update this meme

49. Have you ever murdered someone?
??? No

50. Do you want to be famous someday?
In a sense.

51. Are you normal?
No, but not many are.

52. Are you popular?
I'm trying to be.

53. Do you have an iPod?
I did, it's out of commission now

54. Do you like the color yellow?
Colour of the country, so yes.

55. Do any colors scare you?
Not a lot.

56. Are you afraid of the dark?
I sleep in pitch-black.

57. Do you have a shadow?
I have when I step outside in the sunny morning.

58. Do you have a reflection?
I have when I see myself in the mirror.

59. Are you insane?
I h- er yes.

60. Do you have any mental illnesses?
A lot!

61. Have you ever worn a straight jacket?
D: I want to experience that.

62. Do you like domos or ninjas more?
Shouldn't the comparison be ninjas and pirates?

63. What's your favorite TV show?
...Cold Case Files!

64. What languages do you speak?
Malay, English, Japanese

65. What's your favorite movie?
Never seen one.

66. Who's your favorite actor?
...uhhhhh don't like movies. Favourite seiyuu/voice actor however, lots.

67. Have you ever had beer/smoked a cigarette/taken drugs?
No.

68. Are you saving sex for marriage?
No because I won't marry.

69. Have you ever touched a condom?
Mistakenly did once... a used one at that ><;;

70. Do you want to get married one day?
No.

71. Are you planning on having children when you get older?
I don't want them to suffer.

72. I love you. Do you love me?
I don't love anonymous people D:

73. Do you like online life or real life more?
Online is nice. But I'd love to build up the offline part too.

74. Who would you like to stay by your side?
My 2D waifu.

75. What country do you live in?
Brunei~

76. Do you cuss?
Usually no.

77. How many floors does your house have?
One. Remember you count floors in UK style G,1,2...

78. Do you have your own room or do you have to share it with someone?
It's not my room per-se, but I have it to myself

79. Are planning on going to/already going to/finished college?
Finished uni~

80. What do you want to be when you grow up?
idk

81. Do you have a best friend?
Online yes, offline a few more.

82. Do you like talking on the phone?
No, only when the need comes I'd call.

83. Are you moody?
Yes

84. Do you cut yourself?
I know I'm emo but not to that point. Although I do hit myself.

85. Has anyone that you know ever committed or attempted suicide?
*looks at himself*

86. Have you ever thought about killing yourself?
Yes

87. Have you ever overdosed on medicine?
Can't find the right dose

88. Do you like school?
I miss it

89. Do you like cheese?
Yes please

90. Have you ever eaten part of a human being?
I chew on myself a lot

91. Do you masturbate?
...

92. Do you watch hentai/porn?
... what I can say is I definitely do not watch pr0n because it's ugly.

93. How many blog accounts do you have?
8...

94. Have you ever stalked someone? If so, where and when?
No...

95. Have you ever been stalked by someone?
Wouldn't notice it.

96. What stores do you just have to go to when you go to the mall?
You mean the big Mall or what? My round trip is as follows: Games Master and EGM for games, Winmark for a drink, Chong Hock for figurines, Best Eastern for books.

97. Do you have job? If so, what is it?
I no have job.

98. Do you want to travel to a different country someday? If so, which country?
Japan~

99. Do you have cable?
Once again please update this meme

100. Do you like VH1 or MTV better?
MTV, no VH1 here

101. What the most embarassing moment you ever had?
DON'T REMIND ME D:

Go ahead if anyone wants to do...

Some Social Headlines from G! News

The fate of Saturday night's dinner rests in the hands of one woman! Find out tomorrow if she can make it!

...So almost everyone I know have become BSP employees, including my brother, my old friends, my uncles and aunts, even my old childhood sweetheart. I can't see myself other than a failure, I can't join them and I hope this doesn't take long to be in the circle. If this continues I shall take great risks. Being a wiser man than I was even 3 months ago, I know that I must persevere - but I can't help but feel bad about myself for not being a BSP guy. I feel pressurised to work there, yet the ball's not in my court. I just hope that from what things I taught myself and am teaching, I could handle peer pressure better than I've ever done, and be myself.

I just got voted man of the match in the last MSFC game, I could have easily went all negative like I've done all high school in that situation. Nope, it's just a game. Ultimately football is fun and I love it with all my heart so I should be happy to be on the field and eager to play. And I am rewarded for that way of thinking, like I had been before, but only recently have I fully realised it.

I have JLPT Level 3 on Sunday afternoon, then have a function later at night so there's gonna be quite a bit of a scramble for the weekend plans.

After this week I'll take out some of the guys on a weekday. It's costly, it may look like wasting time for some, but for me, every trip counts - I'm going back to school. Social school.

Food for romantic thoughts

I actually don't like having kelawar sleeping hours. It feels like wasting the whole day, at night you just don't wanna do anything, but you can't help but twist and turn in bed till you get tired and eventually sleep... at 10AM.

I actually might have to get in the cinema soon. This is for the sake of someone's sanity.

...December already eh. Time passes by slowly sometimes, then it goes by fast.

Almost everybody I know is playing or has played the game of love. Mom used to convince me to do it later when I'm done with school. I don't think I'm a good player anyway, might as well not bother... but...

Mutual love is food for mental happiness. You need it bad, especially at this age.