As days gone by...

Well I'm also in the rut of needing to find a job. It's not that I seriously need money (though my savings is now seriously cut no thanks to UBD) but my mom is kicking my ass and forcing me to go. Look, I know it's not easy. But I have this problem of selling myself. I have zero self-confidence, much less acknowledging my achievements (if there was any in the first place?), how do you expect me to do well in interviews and write a good CV? Why can't we be mama borek anak rintik for some time? D:

I wanna go up to UBD today, to meet my sensei who I seriously need to visit. She's busy with the Japanese Speech Competition, something I should really had joined if not for again, my self-confidence and no transport to attend all her practice sessions, so it was hard to fix a timeslot so guess I'll have to go early.

The only saving grace about driving for me is that I can listen to my songs and nobody will complain. That's the best thing about owning your own car, you don't have to adjust your seat everytime someone else uses it etc etc... but I will forever be a car noob, I have zero interest in those killing machines, I still can't see why people have this huge interest in them. It's like movies. The general people just like things I don't, and I like things they don't. That's why I'm lonely.

I'm now convinced that I only have very few people from secondary school I still keep tabs with, because I was a mental weirdo back then. People don't believe that I can change. If my mom doesn't, for sure my ex-classmates don't too. You won't believe how little I talked with Ismail, the guy I spent 7 years in PJN Hostel with, ever since we left Form 6. They on the other hand, won't believe how little I went nuts or go on an emotional rampage in UBD.

You might say people move on, but this is ridiculous.