So I guess I need to update.

Hari Raya has been so meh... Well, I'm gonna talk about something so bear with me.

This all started when I was in my primary school days. If not for that girl I told you about here a bit ago, the most closest girl to me would be this girl I'll call Hoppe (not the real name but there's a hint to it).

Although we were from different primary school, we go to the same ugama school and her parents are both teachers. Her mom taught me mathematics in Primary 5.

Then at SMPJN, we were in the same class from day one till the end. I was distracted and she was a bit high-classy anyway so we were kinda static.

She went to Maktab Sains and had a famous row with her best friend. I went to SMSA and did the same.

Fast-forward to this time... A few weeks ago I was a bit alarmed with her MSN signature name. She's now in the UK for further studies.

And just last week while I was dining I really wanted to know, so I asked someone who I thought would know.

My guess was right. Hoppe's dad had passed away, which I later learned was caused by lymphatic cancer.

I was gutted and pissed. You know why?

When I was younger I confided with her about my family problems. Now I can't do the same. We're so far apart now... The first few months after O-levels, I remembered talking to her on the phone quite a lot.

I kept it inside me until the morning of 1st Syawal. At Raya prayers, I saw her brother (whom I knew) sitting a few spaces near me. His eyes were heavy.

With the background of the Raya zikir I started to shed my own tears. Even if I've grown to get used to having my dad missing at Raya (he's now at Oman), I now realised how lonely it can be when he isn't here...

After prayers we shook hands. I heard a plain, dry "Selamat Hari Raya" and I returned the favour. He knew I knew, so no use elaborating.

To all you orphans out there, I pray for your fortune and well-being...

Selamat Hari Raya.