My dear osananajimi

Last night, I just couldn't sleep thinking of how miserable I was at life, how much I hated being antisocial yet is the grand epitomy of it, how much my old friends have left me for dead. How much I could have achieved before now.

I can just put Khadijah into the "girls that hate my presence" bin that's just chock full of old acquaintances. Names like Atul, DK, etc. Maybe they'll never forgive what I did. Because there's no reason to. Yea I'm a girl-killer, but only to myself.

And when I look back, there was always one girl who waited for me, hated me yet liked me, friended me for what I was worth, and sadly grieved when we had to part. We exchanged letters, phone numbers, we can still remember our birthdays. We live just a few hundred metres apart, yet we never saw each other in *checks watch* a decade already.

I tried to take her to my junior Form 6 prom. I sprained my ankle a week before that, but the thought of seeing her in a lovely dress and taking her hand in a one-off night fueled my recovery... until the Friday when she called saying she can't go, I can't even walk right after that for 6 months.

When I heard she got married, I can just feel the hammer smashing this faintly-yearning heart to pieces. But I picked the pieces up with my logic and the truth revealed long after...

Soulmate? Nobody knows. I wouldn't know how Sika looks like now, or ever. People as close as my auntie and my sis met her already, I'm just waiting after so many close-calls and near-misses.

Sorry for such a sappy entry. But if my family is legendary in Lumut as ever, it will be none other than the long, twisting, winding story of Yasmi and Safoora. You say their names on the same breath. Everybody knows in the 90's and beyond - the couple, top two in the class, having another husband-wife quarrel every other day...

Will the story continue? If only the author isn't as lazy as yours truly. Sigh.